Lyme Park, Disley,
Stockport, Cheshire, SK12, UK
Thank you Brydie darling for attending my latest event. I knew you would enjoy the Gondola’s….so tawdry yet ideal for you. It was only a shame that Frankie couldn’t attend. On the other hand, you are soooooo lucky having Turbs to escort you the world over. Such a find !!!!!! Wasn’t he a treasure, keeping you warm as he did when your sweater accidentally went overboard. All under the moonlight, to the dulcet tones of the Pagliacci. You two simply looked like teenagers giggling as you were.
Penthouse Apartment,
Cnr. Fifth Ave and Shock St,
Manhattan
New York,
USA
My dearest friends…. since writing the above I must acquaint you with the most alarming news. You will note by my return address that I am now writing from my New York penthouse. I am encamped here due to a situation of the most serious nature.
You will remember that my grown up adopted twins, Monte and Carlo were residing here in New York while studying with the NYBC, New York Ballet Company. Both of them had such promise as Danseur Noble. My arrival here, a little stop over on my way through to Rochelle’s’ party, was to be a great surprise. However it turns out that I am the one who has been surprised. Upon my arrival, Snowden has informed me that both boys have run off to join….....I can hardly write it....the CIRCUS
You must know how devastated I am….I am in shock.
I am SHOCK on SHOCK St.
Whatever will Madge say!!! Of course I cannot blame myself when quite clearly it is your fault Rochelle. You promised me you would watch over them in NY. But then in the very next breath you leaped into marrying that Nishtikeit and ran off down to the Gables.
All is not lost, however, Snowden will travel to Quebec to retrieve them and when they return, Jaremy and I shall start them on an intervention program. Who better to train 2 young rebels back into cultured society?
We should be able to keep this entire episode completely hushed up. I know I can depend on you both to keep the unhappy truth to yourselves.
In the meantime, however, I shall rally my spirits and attend your poolside party, Rochelle, where I am sure you will want to beg my forgiveness in person. Besides, I already have my Marc Jacobs asymmetrical gold lame mini dress and my specially made matching metallic turban packed in my Louis Vuitton steamer.
By the way, Matildah is also currently residing in NY while she workshopping at the acclaimed TVI actors studio to refine her acting skills. She is enrolled in “Soap Intensive” where her instructor informed her…and I quote…”Darlink, your pauses between each word are too too short. You will never be a proficient in day time drama if you continue to string your words together.” Needless to say she is shattered, and just between us, destitute also, having paid a small fortune for that pearl of wisdom. Don’t be alarmed when she greets you at Rochelle’s poolside party, that you also manage to greet the entire rest of the party grab a canapé and down your first Daiquiri all between the words Hello and Darling…She is practising her craft.
Must away, 5th Ave beckons
Tootle Pip
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
I'm soooooooooo busy
Air kisses darlings,
Hope you are both wonderful. Or as our friends the Wolframites would say, "vunderful".
Once again I find myself in the thick of the social scene. When I'm not flitting off to extravagant charity events (Sonia, that Venetian gondola ride in aid of clowns' disease was truly inspiring) or visiting friends in the hot zone (Rochelle, that pool complete with Virgin Mary Mother of God grotto you have is capital D vine!) then I find myself simply swimming in duties as the wife of a very important diplomat to the Holy See.
Honestly, I know the Vatican is simply minute but the work is just non-stop. Just the other day I was coordinating a morning tea for the Pope. We wanted to blend Australian culture with Catholicism, so I had the chef make some darling pikelets in the shape of crucifixes. The Yakandandah red raspberry jam was quite realistic when wanting to add a splash of son-of-God blood to the treat!
Jaremy swang by the other day. You can imagine how much he loves it here - wall-to-wall priests brings back some strong images from his childhood. We decided to take in a bit of European culture and popped up for a couple of nights at the Hotel Cipriani and Palazzo Vendramin in Venice. We hired our own gondola to transport us from St Mark's Square and revelled in our own butler service. In fact Jaremy revelled in the butler service in the Casanova spa all evening and I was almost forced to throw them into the water to separate the pair. Thankfully I'd brought Turbs with me as the diplomatic consultant so he kept me ably amused.
Unfortunately we won't be seeing Daisy and Parker-Bowles until Christmas when we fly them over for the holidays. They are surely loving boarding school to pieces and we're just so busy over here we haven't had a single minute to get back and see them. We were hoping they could have come over for Easter but their holidays coincided with the Gucci, Fendi and Prada sales so naturally we were unable to miss the sales and catch up with them.
Had a lovely note from Matildah, she's just landed a part in an off-off Broadway play entitled "Lean Season". In fact it's so off-broadway it's in LA. But anyway, she's playing the role of a young retarded farm girl who is sexually promiscuous with all the local farm hands. It could have been written for her! Jaremy sat in on rehearsals and says she really can do retarded like no-one else - he thinks she's finally found her niche.
Sonia would you be a love and resend that information about the cashmere cardigans? I so need a new crop desperately and I know you always have a fresh supply of stunning twin-sets to team with your double strand of pearls.
Rochelle, can hardly wait for the party. I'm thinking of grabbing some genuine gypsy wear from the area. But what one earth will I do with the gypsies?
Smooches all around,
Brydie x x
Hope you are both wonderful. Or as our friends the Wolframites would say, "vunderful".
Once again I find myself in the thick of the social scene. When I'm not flitting off to extravagant charity events (Sonia, that Venetian gondola ride in aid of clowns' disease was truly inspiring) or visiting friends in the hot zone (Rochelle, that pool complete with Virgin Mary Mother of God grotto you have is capital D vine!) then I find myself simply swimming in duties as the wife of a very important diplomat to the Holy See.
Honestly, I know the Vatican is simply minute but the work is just non-stop. Just the other day I was coordinating a morning tea for the Pope. We wanted to blend Australian culture with Catholicism, so I had the chef make some darling pikelets in the shape of crucifixes. The Yakandandah red raspberry jam was quite realistic when wanting to add a splash of son-of-God blood to the treat!
Jaremy swang by the other day. You can imagine how much he loves it here - wall-to-wall priests brings back some strong images from his childhood. We decided to take in a bit of European culture and popped up for a couple of nights at the Hotel Cipriani and Palazzo Vendramin in Venice. We hired our own gondola to transport us from St Mark's Square and revelled in our own butler service. In fact Jaremy revelled in the butler service in the Casanova spa all evening and I was almost forced to throw them into the water to separate the pair. Thankfully I'd brought Turbs with me as the diplomatic consultant so he kept me ably amused.
Unfortunately we won't be seeing Daisy and Parker-Bowles until Christmas when we fly them over for the holidays. They are surely loving boarding school to pieces and we're just so busy over here we haven't had a single minute to get back and see them. We were hoping they could have come over for Easter but their holidays coincided with the Gucci, Fendi and Prada sales so naturally we were unable to miss the sales and catch up with them.
Had a lovely note from Matildah, she's just landed a part in an off-off Broadway play entitled "Lean Season". In fact it's so off-broadway it's in LA. But anyway, she's playing the role of a young retarded farm girl who is sexually promiscuous with all the local farm hands. It could have been written for her! Jaremy sat in on rehearsals and says she really can do retarded like no-one else - he thinks she's finally found her niche.
Sonia would you be a love and resend that information about the cashmere cardigans? I so need a new crop desperately and I know you always have a fresh supply of stunning twin-sets to team with your double strand of pearls.
Rochelle, can hardly wait for the party. I'm thinking of grabbing some genuine gypsy wear from the area. But what one earth will I do with the gypsies?
Smooches all around,
Brydie x x
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Yoohoo Im Here
Hello darlings and greeting from Miami - well Coral Gables to be precise. Yes we are finally ensonced in our new spanish mission styled abode - but as you know it has not been without drama. I have been in a permanent state of flux, truly and only now do I feel like I have come through the miasma.
I commissioned the new "it" designers Carlos and Juan from Floridecor. Darlings those latin queens were difficult to deal with. One is from Meheeco, the other from Puerto Reeco and they arrived in a whirlwind of floral shirts and its all hola this and hola that. I no comprende sweeties. Furthermore its all about a hoochie coochie look - so much colour - they seemed perplexed at my suggestion of beige with seafoam green accents. We got there in the end.
So now we call Miami home and our New York loft the weekender. I mean I could never not maintain a residence in NY.
My darling Richard and I have just celebrated our 1st wedding annivesary. The mother in law has slowly warmed to me despite my not "choosing" to become one of the "chosen" people. I might add these days so many hot jewish guys are marrying hot shiksa girls......like me.
Sonia darling - I must commend you on your on going fund raising efforts for this invideous Clowns Desease that seems to be on the increase - its quite shocking and Miami seems to be especially beset by sufferers - I see them all the time when roller blading down South Beach - sad sad site that it is. In fact I think my new maid Esmerelda whom I am convinced floated into Miami Harbour on an inflatable ring from Costa Rica could be in the early stages of it - too much makeup too much. I simply do not know what to do other than I will be sure to come to the next soiree in Canada to give give give.
But onto matters of a more festive nature. My house warming party. Darlings invitations will be going out shortly - but here is the heads up - its going to be a huge pool party at our mansion - the theme is hippy chic and I already have an ensemble - I picked up a vintage Thea Porter kaftan from my fave store in NYC and I will wear this with a cocktail ring of vulgar proportion.
Before finishing - I had a call from Mahtilda who was in an exciteable state, not artificially created either. She has secured a part in a new Sci Fi comedy called "Spacecapades" she play the role of an alien beauty pageant contestent "Miss Moon Floss" and she gets say two words "intergalactic Peace". Yes I know - I had to stop myself from snickering.
Laters lovelies.
xx
I commissioned the new "it" designers Carlos and Juan from Floridecor. Darlings those latin queens were difficult to deal with. One is from Meheeco, the other from Puerto Reeco and they arrived in a whirlwind of floral shirts and its all hola this and hola that. I no comprende sweeties. Furthermore its all about a hoochie coochie look - so much colour - they seemed perplexed at my suggestion of beige with seafoam green accents. We got there in the end.
So now we call Miami home and our New York loft the weekender. I mean I could never not maintain a residence in NY.
My darling Richard and I have just celebrated our 1st wedding annivesary. The mother in law has slowly warmed to me despite my not "choosing" to become one of the "chosen" people. I might add these days so many hot jewish guys are marrying hot shiksa girls......like me.
Sonia darling - I must commend you on your on going fund raising efforts for this invideous Clowns Desease that seems to be on the increase - its quite shocking and Miami seems to be especially beset by sufferers - I see them all the time when roller blading down South Beach - sad sad site that it is. In fact I think my new maid Esmerelda whom I am convinced floated into Miami Harbour on an inflatable ring from Costa Rica could be in the early stages of it - too much makeup too much. I simply do not know what to do other than I will be sure to come to the next soiree in Canada to give give give.
But onto matters of a more festive nature. My house warming party. Darlings invitations will be going out shortly - but here is the heads up - its going to be a huge pool party at our mansion - the theme is hippy chic and I already have an ensemble - I picked up a vintage Thea Porter kaftan from my fave store in NYC and I will wear this with a cocktail ring of vulgar proportion.
Before finishing - I had a call from Mahtilda who was in an exciteable state, not artificially created either. She has secured a part in a new Sci Fi comedy called "Spacecapades" she play the role of an alien beauty pageant contestent "Miss Moon Floss" and she gets say two words "intergalactic Peace". Yes I know - I had to stop myself from snickering.
Laters lovelies.
xx
Thursday, February 19, 2009
It has been tooooo long
Dearest Brydie,
It has been to long. No fault of my own of course, as I have been sooooooooooooooooooo busssssssssssssssy !!!!. I know you do not even need to ask with what. I am the most tireless and selfless charity worker that you know. Yes…All of the charities are still beating at my door with a glimmer of hope that I will lend THE name of Lady Sonia Still (Lassy to you and my other dearest friends) to their cause. All the big ones are after me, “Pirates Anonymous” and “Affirmative Action Against Lycra ”, just to name a few, but as you already know my, first passion is that little known yet incredibly debilitating disease, Clowns Disease. It walks amongst us everywhere. Sometimes even the sufferers do not know they have contracted the disease until one day they chosen a big bow to accessorize with. Then they start wearing a little to much face powder and draw on the outside of their lips with their favorite red lipstick. Before they realize it they are tottering off down Old Kent Road to have their hair permed and dyed red. It just escalates from there.
So I am not long back from Dubai where I was hostess for the latest fundraising event for Clowns Disease at the new Atlantis of Palm Jumeirah . Really darling, I am not sure what all the fuss is about. You know the “nouveau riche”. It is all about how big this is and what rainforest was ravaged for that. It is all glamorous up front; however the rooms leave something to be desired. Once shown into my deluxe suite, I immediately called for the boy to find me another, more suitable room. There was a hideous hacienda style bar in each of the deluxe rooms…something about a job lot from Darwin of all places. Naturally they re-located me to the Bridge suite for the same price as the deluxe.
The event went off without a hitch and I have Jaremy to thank for that. He handled the whole thing as only Jaremy can. You remember that Jaremy was desecrated when that Colin Cowie, “renowned event producer”, or so they say …got in just before him and snapped up Kylie for the opening, so he was left with Britney…which worked out fabulous in the end because she performed her new “Circus” album which was very fitting. Jaremy arranged for the guests to be transported from the red carpet through the main hall via wigglesesq big red cars, personally chauffeured by your favorite wiggle and the whole thing was held in the Aqua hall, completely surrounded by a tank of clown fish that was filled especially for the occasion.
But listen to me go on when I really should mention how wonderful my dear husband has been throughout the entire event. Sir Algernon, Syngen Still, (Sassy to you and me), has also lent his name to my latest project. I am not entirely sure about his motivation however. He seemed awfully eager to snap up one of the guests free goodie bags containing amongst other things the Calvin Klein thong, the Coco de Mer naughty spank paddle and blindfold, the Agent Provocateur Lip'n'nipple plumperplus pop-up shop and a 18-carat gold vibrator……Then there was the chance to rub shoulders with Britney and Bette…Midler that is, who Sassy adores. She sang a very stirring rendition of “Send in the clowns”. I don’t think I am letting any clowns out of the closet when I tell you Bette has been struggling with the disease herself for many a year. The eighties have a lot to answer for.
I wore the Dior, on loan to me from Rochelle. Of course I had to have it temporarily taken up…..and in. I am not sure how I survived all that beading. It was uncomfortably heavy and it restricted one from twirling on the dance floor. I am sure with……, let us say, her less genteel frame, she manages it quite well, but I won’t do that again. My eyes were bigger than those padded shoulders it seems and I just had to have it when I saw it
And you will never guess who made an appearance…Matildah. She popped in on her way through to her latest project. She is starring in the Off, Off West End production, “The girl from Ipanema”. Not quite ‘The boy from Oz’, but she was heard to say to some of the guests that she thinks of herself as the female version of Hugh Jackman. She can shake those maracas.
The only flaw was yours and Rochelle’s absence and I simply will not let you miss the next event. I believe it is to be held in Quebec….that’s in Canada. Something about the home of Cirque du Soleil.
I must say it will be so lovely to have you on the continent. Only a Chunnel away and then some for a coffee clutch over your new Brunopasso
I must away for I am off to tea with Annie Laurence.
Love and kisses to Frankfurter.
Toodle Pip
It has been to long. No fault of my own of course, as I have been sooooooooooooooooooo busssssssssssssssy !!!!. I know you do not even need to ask with what. I am the most tireless and selfless charity worker that you know. Yes…All of the charities are still beating at my door with a glimmer of hope that I will lend THE name of Lady Sonia Still (Lassy to you and my other dearest friends) to their cause. All the big ones are after me, “Pirates Anonymous” and “Affirmative Action Against Lycra ”, just to name a few, but as you already know my, first passion is that little known yet incredibly debilitating disease, Clowns Disease. It walks amongst us everywhere. Sometimes even the sufferers do not know they have contracted the disease until one day they chosen a big bow to accessorize with. Then they start wearing a little to much face powder and draw on the outside of their lips with their favorite red lipstick. Before they realize it they are tottering off down Old Kent Road to have their hair permed and dyed red. It just escalates from there.
So I am not long back from Dubai where I was hostess for the latest fundraising event for Clowns Disease at the new Atlantis of Palm Jumeirah . Really darling, I am not sure what all the fuss is about. You know the “nouveau riche”. It is all about how big this is and what rainforest was ravaged for that. It is all glamorous up front; however the rooms leave something to be desired. Once shown into my deluxe suite, I immediately called for the boy to find me another, more suitable room. There was a hideous hacienda style bar in each of the deluxe rooms…something about a job lot from Darwin of all places. Naturally they re-located me to the Bridge suite for the same price as the deluxe.
The event went off without a hitch and I have Jaremy to thank for that. He handled the whole thing as only Jaremy can. You remember that Jaremy was desecrated when that Colin Cowie, “renowned event producer”, or so they say …got in just before him and snapped up Kylie for the opening, so he was left with Britney…which worked out fabulous in the end because she performed her new “Circus” album which was very fitting. Jaremy arranged for the guests to be transported from the red carpet through the main hall via wigglesesq big red cars, personally chauffeured by your favorite wiggle and the whole thing was held in the Aqua hall, completely surrounded by a tank of clown fish that was filled especially for the occasion.
But listen to me go on when I really should mention how wonderful my dear husband has been throughout the entire event. Sir Algernon, Syngen Still, (Sassy to you and me), has also lent his name to my latest project. I am not entirely sure about his motivation however. He seemed awfully eager to snap up one of the guests free goodie bags containing amongst other things the Calvin Klein thong, the Coco de Mer naughty spank paddle and blindfold, the Agent Provocateur Lip'n'nipple plumperplus pop-up shop and a 18-carat gold vibrator……Then there was the chance to rub shoulders with Britney and Bette…Midler that is, who Sassy adores. She sang a very stirring rendition of “Send in the clowns”. I don’t think I am letting any clowns out of the closet when I tell you Bette has been struggling with the disease herself for many a year. The eighties have a lot to answer for.
I wore the Dior, on loan to me from Rochelle. Of course I had to have it temporarily taken up…..and in. I am not sure how I survived all that beading. It was uncomfortably heavy and it restricted one from twirling on the dance floor. I am sure with……, let us say, her less genteel frame, she manages it quite well, but I won’t do that again. My eyes were bigger than those padded shoulders it seems and I just had to have it when I saw it
And you will never guess who made an appearance…Matildah. She popped in on her way through to her latest project. She is starring in the Off, Off West End production, “The girl from Ipanema”. Not quite ‘The boy from Oz’, but she was heard to say to some of the guests that she thinks of herself as the female version of Hugh Jackman. She can shake those maracas.
The only flaw was yours and Rochelle’s absence and I simply will not let you miss the next event. I believe it is to be held in Quebec….that’s in Canada. Something about the home of Cirque du Soleil.
I must say it will be so lovely to have you on the continent. Only a Chunnel away and then some for a coffee clutch over your new Brunopasso
I must away for I am off to tea with Annie Laurence.
Love and kisses to Frankfurter.
Toodle Pip
Thursday, October 30, 2008
All settled in
Hello Darlings
Sorry it has taken me so long to get in touch. Frankie and I have finally settled into our gorgeous apartment in Via Paola in Rome. Officially he is the ambassador to The Holy See (Vatican City). The Holy See is a lovely place. To visit. Rome is far more my speed.
The Australian government have kindly provided us with an ambassadorial aide. I only discovered this when I awoke yesterday, donned my Phoebe Carlyle dressing gown (the mink and dusty rose version) and sashayed into the entrance hall and found a rather burly Australian with a Brunopasso espresso machine under one arm and some freshly roasted beans under the other.
"Who are you? And what are you doing here?" I demanded from the not-unattractive visitor. He quickly introduced himself as Trevor Turbo Budge and explained that his role was to assist us with settling in. Turbs (as I now call him) has been a blessing and knows all the best places for wining, dining, espresso and judging from the little gift he left me earlier, lingerie.
We stopped off in LA on our way over and spent a few days with Jaremy. He was hosting an outrageous cocktail party in aid of some charity or other. It was a swinging affair stacked with celebrities and the most gorgeous Chanel gift bags you can imagine. How does she do it?
Matildah was there of course. She has just been cast in a new documentary series on the evolution of man. She will be appearing in episodes two and three as a primitive cave woman and most of her scenes involve her being rear-ended by hairy half-clad men. Jaremy is naturally shamrock with envy.
Frankie is away a lot of the time but Turbs is carrying out his duties quite ably. Daisy and Parker-Bowles are settled in at boarding school and we plan to fly them out here for the holidays if we can find any spare spots in our calendars!
The other ambassadors are wonderful fun and tonight we are attending a party at the German embassy. Augustus Wolframite holds regular bratwurst and beer tastings that are a highlight of the Roman social calendar. He and his wife Wilhemina (pronounced Vilhemina) love to cook up a storm. This month they are being visited by their daughter Wagina. Lovely girl.
Well Darlings, I'm sorry but I must away and get Turbs to help me into my gorgeous new Elie Saab.
Air kisses,
Brydie x
Sorry it has taken me so long to get in touch. Frankie and I have finally settled into our gorgeous apartment in Via Paola in Rome. Officially he is the ambassador to The Holy See (Vatican City). The Holy See is a lovely place. To visit. Rome is far more my speed.
The Australian government have kindly provided us with an ambassadorial aide. I only discovered this when I awoke yesterday, donned my Phoebe Carlyle dressing gown (the mink and dusty rose version) and sashayed into the entrance hall and found a rather burly Australian with a Brunopasso espresso machine under one arm and some freshly roasted beans under the other.
"Who are you? And what are you doing here?" I demanded from the not-unattractive visitor. He quickly introduced himself as Trevor Turbo Budge and explained that his role was to assist us with settling in. Turbs (as I now call him) has been a blessing and knows all the best places for wining, dining, espresso and judging from the little gift he left me earlier, lingerie.
We stopped off in LA on our way over and spent a few days with Jaremy. He was hosting an outrageous cocktail party in aid of some charity or other. It was a swinging affair stacked with celebrities and the most gorgeous Chanel gift bags you can imagine. How does she do it?
Matildah was there of course. She has just been cast in a new documentary series on the evolution of man. She will be appearing in episodes two and three as a primitive cave woman and most of her scenes involve her being rear-ended by hairy half-clad men. Jaremy is naturally shamrock with envy.
Frankie is away a lot of the time but Turbs is carrying out his duties quite ably. Daisy and Parker-Bowles are settled in at boarding school and we plan to fly them out here for the holidays if we can find any spare spots in our calendars!
The other ambassadors are wonderful fun and tonight we are attending a party at the German embassy. Augustus Wolframite holds regular bratwurst and beer tastings that are a highlight of the Roman social calendar. He and his wife Wilhemina (pronounced Vilhemina) love to cook up a storm. This month they are being visited by their daughter Wagina. Lovely girl.
Well Darlings, I'm sorry but I must away and get Turbs to help me into my gorgeous new Elie Saab.
Air kisses,
Brydie x
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